Monday, August 31, 2009

Atlanteans V Kiwis

Once upon a time, Coca Cola noticed that people were buying fizzy drinks that were not made by the blessed Atlanteans. Those naughty little New Zealanders, fresh off their wins with L&P, were winning hearts and markets with V, and those filthy degenerate Europeans had Red Bull. Panic Stations!

So they made Lift plus. And it was ordinary, and market share declined. They didn't blame the fact that it taste like salted ass, it was a lack of marketing! So they brought out a new drink, called it "Mother", and marketed it heavily. Except, it still tasted like the bastard child of coke and salted ass!

And it failed in the market, despite all the money they had spent, and there was much weeping and tearing of suits and lamentation of the secretaries.

And then some bright executive said "frack this" and the great Atlanteans simply copied the taste of V within the arguable limits of the court system, then bought out a funny marketing advert where they blamed scientists instead of their stupid, stupid executive.

And lo, market share rose, and there was much rejoicing.

The moral of this story: If you are crippled by stupid management, try plagiarism.

Thanks GC!

3 comments:

Nautilus said...

Lol! It's funny 'cause it's true!

Barnesm said...

Mind you I do really like the new Mother ads, especially the guy fronting them.

Did you every recall the old Mother ads with that godamn zombie monkey. Is the undead really a big market for energy drinks.

Dr Yobbo said...

'the bastard child of coke and salted ass'

Never was a truer word spoken. Was basically given a can of the stuff refuelling at Shell Gailey Rd a few yrs back. Nastier than German schiesse porn. Can't imagine the new formulation is a lot less putrid.